Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Is Potluck Okay for a Bridal Shower?

Q: We're trying to keep costs down and were thinking of doing a potluck for the bridal shower food.  One of the bridesmaids said she thought it was tacky.  Is it considered okay?

A: Potluck is not okay from an etiquette standpoint for a bridal shower. A wedding shower is the only wedding-related event where a guest is expected to bring a gift. Asking the guests to also bring food is considered inappropriate and tacky.

Besides the etiquette issues, potluck always presents other problems. Where will you keep the food until it's ready to be served?  What about allergies to food? What about guests who live an hour or so away from the shower venue-how are they expected to keep dishes cold or hot?

Of course, one option is to have the bridal party do the potluck; this would be okay as the guests are not bringing the food. 


EmmysBoosAndRawrs said...

Hmm. I guess some people put weddings and bridal showers on a much higher pedestal than others. I have been to weddings where people were asked to bring a dish to pass if it was feasible for them, and nobody got offended, at least not to the point where other people were aware of it. Feeding people is super expensive and I wouldn't delay or not get married just because it would be "inappropriate and tacky" to ask people to bring a dish to pass IF they could afford to and lived close enough, etc.

Vanessa said...

I think you could definitely go potluck style. Of course, some might still turn their noses up at it, but I say it's your shower, do what you want! ;)

Justine M. said...

I think it depends on the type of people/wedding also. I understand the issue of bringing a present to the wedding party/reception and also food, but I know most of my friends and family would prefer a potluck/get together type of bridal shower.

Shannon said...

I was glad to see the other ladies comments about potluck showers, etc. I had wondered if it was ok and thought that some ppl would love to do that. I think our crowd/family will be ok with it as not required type thing. thanks for the comments girls.

Anonymous said...

Definitely TACKY!

Anonymous said...

I'm the MOH for my best friend's wedding and after much discussion with the wedding party, I've realized the acceptability is a regional thing; where you are from plays a huge factor on whether you are on Team Tacky or Team Acceptable.

We're going with a small buffet from an affordable local caterer. It offers a casual atmosphere regarding the food, but now I don't have to worry about coordinating who's bringing what and making sure there is a dish that the bride (or I) can eat. Plus, we don't have to deal with the complaints from the guests about how tacky the potluck is.