Thursday, July 23, 2009

Bridal Shower Etiquette: Out-of-Town Bridesmaid Still Pay for Bridal Shower?

Q: I live out of town while the other bridesmaids all live near the bride. They're planning a bridal shower for her, which I won't be able to attend. (I can't afford the plane ticket for just a weekend.) As an out-of-town bridesmaid, should I still pay for the bridal shower?

A: Ah, tough questions. When we become bridesmaids, we know that we are expected to throw a bridal shower and bachelorette party. Most of us figure on the cost when we agree to be bridesmaids. That being said, its a great gesture if you voluntarily agree to help the other bridesmaids pay for the shower. Think of it this way, it isn't fair that the other bridesmaids should have to contribute additional money to compensate for you not being there.

Of course, you might want to help with some of the planning still if this makes you feel as though you are involved. Most of us don't like paying for something that we don't have a hand in. Ask the other bridesmaids if you can help pick out invites, food, decorations, etc if this helps you feel as though you are now a host too.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am having this issue as well. As one of a large number of bridesmaids, I just was informed that a shower put on by a few of the bridesmaids was 'from' all of us and they'd like me to mail them a sizable check. it was a surprising request for me since I had nothing to do with the shower at all and it's starting to really hurt the budget! I want to pass since I'm already contributing to several other funds for the bride as well as outfitting the children attendants and traveling to the venue, but do I have no choice?